6.18.2015

Dear Past Self (Another Thursday Letter)

Dear Past Kelsey,

  I don't have any time-frame I'm writing to you about, but I do know one thing; I probably shouldn't focus on the past. That's kind of a popular statement these days, "Focus on the now, don't look to the past." I agree, yet I disagree. I think looking to the past occasionally helps to remind you not to make the same mistakes that you have before. 

  I have a few things to say to you Kelsey, and I hope it helps for me to get them written down. You always had that habit, and still do to this day; writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to figure them out. 

  First off, I want you to know something. You did it. You made it to sixteen. Whether you have one or one-hundred years left, I don't know, but you've made it this far. I know there were times where you didn't think you could do it, didn't think it was worth it; but it was, and I want to tell you, life isn't any easier, but it seems to be getting more beautiful.

  As I slow down and take a look back at your life, at our life, I'm noticing more and more how time flew when I felt like it was taking too long. Time, Kelsey, is very, very precious, and I'm determined not to waste a second of it. If I could be off of social media more often than not, I would do much better at not wasting time. 

  Secondly, you made it. You got over him. Maybe not fully (who actually gets over a guy fully?), but you shifted the way you were giving him attention. It might have hurt like nothing has ever hurt you before when you realized it was time to get over him, but I promise, he is not the entire world. That's why they say a guy won't complete you, because you get disappointed and heartbroken sometimes.

  To the little version of me that was scared to become independent, scared to dare to do more than just hide in the shadows of other people: you're not that girl anymore. The process of finding out who you're going to be is still ongoing, but you're getting there. 

  To the little girl who thought at sixteen she'd marry a prince and live in a candy castle: sorry, it hasn't happened. Hey, I did just turn sixteen, so you never know. Maybe he'll come along. 

  And finally, to the 13 year old version of me. You thought you could never change your ways, you thought you'd be a horrible, mean person forever: You're a work in progress. Things are gradually changing. You're trying to change your attitude and trying to sweeten up your disposition, but it's still ongoing. We'll get there, though. With time, I'm hoping we can get this straightened out. 

   Past me, I know you'd wished for a life totally different than the one you've got, but this is what we've got, and you're going to make the best of it. You're trying, anyway. Remember, kiddo, life isn't always easy; but with a little love and a whole lot of Jesus, I think you'll be just fine.
                                                       Love,
                                                  Kelsey :)

                        For your enjoyment, here are a few photos of "past me." 




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