Dear Grandma

Hey there,

   So my Mom informed me that this Sunday is the twenty year anniversary of her mother's cancer diagnosis. She died roughly two months after that. I'm fifteen. I think you can adequately do the math. 
   Being that I've never met her, and this Christmas season is upon us, and twenty years is a long time; she was my choice for this week's letter. So, here it goes!

   Dear Grandma Ruth,

  I've always called you that, but I've always wondered if that's what you'd want to be called. Would you want me to call you that? Or something else? 

  I'm fifteen now, and a part of me feels like you're missing. Even though I've never met you, everyone says there's a bond between a mother's mother and her granddaughter that's different from any grandparent-grandchild relationship. How I miss someone I've never met? It's hard to explain. It's not so much that I miss you, it's the idea of you. It's the stories I've heard, the lives I've seen that have been touched by you, and your children and grandchildren. 

  You may or may not know this, I'm not exactly sure how it works in heaven, but you have eight grandchildren. Seven of us are already here, and sweet little Sam is on the way. It's sad to me that if you had lived a mere three months more, you would have met your first grandchild. That seems so unfair. Eight grandchildren and you never got to meet one of them!
  I understand, though, that God's got this. He knows what's going on and knows what's best for us, even if we don't fully understand it anymore.

  Even though you're not here, I see you. I see you in the smiles of your grandchildren, my cousins. I see you in the way your siblings talk about you. I see you in the lives you've touched. Apparently, I should see you in my own face because I've been told I look like you.

  I wished I'd had a chance to get to know you. I wish I could meet the woman who made such a good woman out of my mother. I wish I could meet the woman who touched so many lives and did so many things.

  I love you. I don't know how, I don't know if that even registers in my mind, but I do love you. I love you for who you were. I love you for the things you did that influenced my life. And I cannot wait to meet you someday, in heaven.

                                   Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!
                                                 Kelsey <3

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