(Pepere's birthday cake. Showin' off my decorating skills
                                         (hello :)
                                  (I maybe went a little overboard with my M&M creations)
                               (This is the result of making my mother stop the car so I 
                           could take a picture)
                                   (Snow, snow, and snow)

        Christmas was great this year. I had a fantastic time visiting with my Mom's family on Christmas Eve (most of whom I haven't seen since moving back). We had great food, a great visit, and tons of fun playing a board game. Christmas day was great too. After opening presents (which, in my opinion, I got way too many of. But, I appreciate the thought), we got all of the last minute foodie jobs done before my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins came over. We had a blast. Christmas was altogether wonderful.

   Yesterday morning, I woke up disappointed though. I'd been reading Ann Voskamp's new Advent book called, The Greatest Gift. I loved it! There were different readings for each day and I just was amazed at how much my perspective on the entire Christmas season changed. I was disappointed yesterday morning because I realized I'd forgotten to read it Christmas Day. After twenty-four days of reading this book, I FORGOT Christmas Day? The reason for the entire book? Needless to say, I wanted to Gibbs' smack myself upside the head (N.C.I.S. fans would get that joke). I was so angry. I was so wrapped up (no pun intended) in the Christmas gifts and helping get everything ready that, I FORGOT! I forgot to read the one day I wanted to read most. I read it yesterday, and it was fantastic, but it didn't feel right. I felt so bad that I forgot. 

  And I realized, don't we all forget? Don't we all forget what the Christmas season is really about? It's about life and new birth, Jesus' birth! It's about a savior being born to save us. An almighty God, coming in the form of a newborn child, to save us. To save me. To save you. Jesus came to save us. Those five words seem so little compared to the weight behind them. It's truly amazing to think about.

  Through this whole Christmas season, I've been saying over and over, not to forget the real reason for Christmas. Playing it over and over in my head. Trying to remember it through the lights, and presents, and cookies, and cooking, and snowmen, and the man in the red suit. Yet, I still forgot. 

  Maybe some of you are thinking, "Hey it's just a book calm down!" But this is way bigger than a book. It isn't about the book at all. It's about the fact that I was so selfish, and eager to open gifts, that I didn't take ten measly little moments to just read it. Read about my savior. Read about the baby who was born, so he could die. So he could save and encourage. And that's what I'm angry about. 

 So this year? My New Year's resolution is that I'm going to start taking time for God. Replacing meaningless moments of my day, with meaningful ones. Because that's what Christmas, and life, are all about. Taking time. Making every short precious moment count. 

 I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you have a fantastic New Year's. 



Through It All Let's Try to Remember


Christmas is fast approaching. It's inevitable. It comes the same time each year.
Even though a lot of us are freaking out because we haven't finished all of our Christmas shopping, or we have dozens of Christmas cards to sign and send out, or whatever the reason, we need to remember. Remember that Christmas isn't about the gifts, or the cookies, or the visiting time. Yes, that's all apart of it, but the main reason can't be forgotten. It's forgotten way too often already.

Christmas is about Jesus' birth. Christmas is about the birth of a God who 
became a baby so he could eventually grow up, and die for us. A savior. 

"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord."
Luke 2:11

So throughout this Christmas season, even though you're consumed with cookies, and presents, and where you're gonna sit Grandma at the dinner table, don't forget. Let's all try to remember that tiny, baby Savior. 



Thanksgiving is NOT over


             I've been hearing a lot about thankfulness over the past week, and it's understandable, because yesterday was Thanksgiving (Duh Kelsey. They know that, just shut up and get on with it). Okay, so anyway, it made me really think.

             Why is giving thanks restricted to one day? It's like all year we just gripe and ponder on all the bad things in life and never stop to give thanks except on Thanksgiving. So why, oh why, is thanks given just on Thanksgiving? Thanks should be all the time. Being thankful for what you have should be an EVERYDAY thing, not a once-a-year-in-between-bites-of-turkey-and-stuffing thing. 

            There's so much to be thankful for! So much. I could probably think of a trillion things right now. They might seem ridiculous, but we should be thankful for everything. EVERYTHING! Everything serves a purpose. Everything, no matter what it is, is good for some reason.

           So honestly, I don't think Thanksgiving is over. As a matter of fact, it's just begun. Maybe that'll be my New Years' Resolution this year. To be more thankful. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Kelsey :)


The secret behind the mismatched socks

       So, most people who know me, know that I wear mismatched socks. All the time. I'm talking ALL THE TIME. If they match, I'm most likely going to freak out. Honestly, I have two reasons for the mismatched socks. One, I really like how they look mismatched. And two, I just feel like if my socks match, I have my life way too much together. 

      I saw a picture recently that said, "Life's too short to waste time matching socks." It's so true, but that's not why I'm posting this.

      The reason I don't like feeling like I have my life way too much together is because, I like uncertainty. I guess it can be scary at times, but not knowing what comes next thrills me for some reason. And with my wacky imagination, I usually like to take the uncertainty, and make something my own out of it. Create some idea of how something is going to be,  before it happens. Maybe it's the writer side of me, and maybe it's just that I like to make up random scenarios. Who knows?  

    I don't know what the future holds right now, but I'm just going with the flow, hoping something good is going to come of it. I'm just making up different ideas in my head, and anxiously waiting on the edge of my seat for what's gonna happen next. What's really gonna happen next. 

   So the secret behind my love of mismatched socks? I like them, and I like feeling unorganized, mismatched. Besides, Punky Brewster was right. I have two feet, so why should I wear matching socks? (She said shoes, but you get my point). 

Kelsey :)

P.s. For those of you wondering how on earth I could possibly know who Punky Brewster is, my mother liked that show. So, I've seen it quite a few times.



What did we lose? Nothing really.

                 At the beginning of this year, my Dad lost his job. It's been pretty rough since April. We actually moved from Indiana back to Massachusetts (where we're from). I've been having a really hard time dealing with it all. We lost our house and we had to get rid of a lot of our stuff. Including our dog. I've just been really bitter about it all. I haven't been vocal about that bitterness, but it's definitely there. It feels so unfair. But since coming here, I've realized some things. Mainly through random Bible verses I keep finding. 

                                    "Naked I came from my mother's womb, 
                                             naked I will depart.
                                             The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
                                              may the name of the Lord be praised."
                                                          Job 1:21

               The second half of Job 1:21 reminds me to praise the Lord even in times of struggle. "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." He can take whatever He wants away, whenever He wants to. None of it really matters anyway.

                                  "Shall we not accept good from God and not trouble?"
                                                                   Job 2:10

               Job 2:10. It's reminds me to praise Him in both good and bad, sometimes not knowing which I'm facing.

                                  "We must go through many hardships to enter the
                                            kingdom of God." 
                                                         Acts 14:22

             This verse, reminds me, hardships are apart of life. In the end, they'll pale in comparison to Heaven's reward. Hardships can teach us lessons. I think that's why they're so hard. Because they teach us the hard lessons. Otherwise, they'd be called eashyships. Hard times tend to make us stronger, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

                                   "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's 
                                             will for you in Christ Jesus."
                                                       1 Thessalonians 5:18

             This one, is a reminder to be thankful in all circumstances. Whether good, bad, easy, difficult. It doesn't matter. Thankfulness should be constant.

              There's a line in the movie Facing the Giants, that I just love. It kind of goes along with 1 Thessalonians 5:18. It says, "If we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him." It's so true. Praise and thanks should be an all-the-time thing. Not just when things are going good.

             So maybe, I lost things in the past seven months. But, my dog? He's in a better home now. The house? Does it really matter? My grandparents were kind enough to let us move in with them again, so do we really need it? 

             I think that, often, our lowest points bring us closer to Jesus. They show us that He's all we need. The rest will be set into place by Him. Losing earthly things, makes us all the more grateful for what we do have. There are people doing way worse than I am. Way worse. I have food. I have a place to live. I have clothes. I have friends. I have family. I have Jesus. I don't think there's really anything else I need. 

           I also think it's better to have little, and still have Jesus, than to have everything without Him. Without Him, we have nothing. With Him, we have everything. He is everything.

           We're all blessed a lot more than we realize. Loss is apart of life. Whether it's material possessions, people, or even money. Money doesn't really matter that much. Sure, we need it for lots of things. But in the end, it'll just be paper. The love and grace of Jesus Christ, is all we need. It's all I need. I don't want expensive, fancy, or amazing things.

                                                I want Jesus.


                                   "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
                                         where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in
                                          and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven,
                                         where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not
                                         break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart 
                                         will be also. "
                                                      Matthew 6:19-21

             Jesus says to store up Heavenly treasures instead of earthly ones. He says wherever our treasures are, our hearts will be. I want my heart with him. I want to be so lost in His love and mercy, that this earth, and whatever happens on it, don't matter.

          We lost stuff this past year. But if I keep the mindset that Jesus is everything, then, I didn't really lose anything at all.






Just listen

                    We went to the beach on Columbus Day a few weeks ago, and I loved it. I've always loved the beach, and I hadn't been in awhile. I got some great pictures (as you can see from my new blog header and the pictures in this post). 

                    As I stood there taking pictures, though, I just stopped. I took a deep breath and looked out at the waves. The constant-moving ocean. The saltwater smell filled my nose and I was so happy. 

                   I wrote in my journal (diary, whatever you wanna call it is fine) yesterday, that I'm tired of rushing. I'm tired of feeling like my entire life, and every single day is going six million miles an hour. I literally wrote, "I just want to take time to stop, and take a deep breath." Looking at the pictures from the beach made me want to go back there. When I stopped taking pictures, and just took in all the beauty surrounding me, I felt relaxed. For the first time in a long time, it was just quiet. The only noise was the waves. It was wonderful. 

                  Lately, I've been wondering, why is life so rush rush? Why can't we just stop and take a deep breath? Stop and enjoy life? Why does everything have to be so fast in life? 

                  I think all of us, sometimes, just need to stop and take a deep breath. Stop and exhale all the stress of our day. Just pause. Freeze. Whatever.



*Winnie the Pooh voice* It's Autumn!

                      It's autumn (or fall, which I usually call it, but autumn is fun to say too), and I am extremely happy. It's one of my favorite seasons (along with winter), and a very photogenic one at that. Now that my camera has decided to work, I decided to post a fancy little myriad of pictures I've been taking. 

       Kelsey :)


Officially changed...

       So, what do you think of my new design? This is one of the first time's I've designed my blog myself. There's no more button, sadly :( (Shhh, it's because I don't know how to make one) Anyway, just thought I'd see what your thoughts were.

         Have a wonderful day,
Kelsey :)



I know I said a few weeks ago that there would be changes coming to this blog. Which I never did. But, I will be doing them soon. This blog is outdated and I'm thinking about a new beginning. 

Kels signature


My (crazy, wonderful) family.

So I've been wanting to post, but haven't known what to post about. So, I figured I'd introduce you to some people I like to call my family :)
          This is Nathan, my older brother. He's fifteen (almost sixteen). Obsessed with his phone, lover of heavy metal and hard rock music, and he's really tall. Really tall.
           Then after myself, comes Jacob. He's twelve. Loves all kinds of sports, loves to show off how tough he is, and he's very funny.
                      And then we have my parents. Dad (Steve) and Mom (Tracy). 
             Here's Dad again. Basically he's a goofball. Crazy. Hilarious. Sarcastic. He's a pretty cool guy :)
             Here's Momma :) BEAUTIFUL, homemaker, funny. I couldn't ask for a better Mom.

          And that, my friends, is my family. They're crazy, they're funny, but they're wonderful and I love them all LIKE MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!


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Random Facts About Me.

Recently, my bestie (her blog here) did a 50 facts about her post, which made me wanna do one. Thus, I shall play copy cat and do one too!!  (I apologize if you feel copied Anne :) 

50 Kelsey Facts:

  1. I have to wear mismatched socks. I have to. If they match it's just, I can't even describe how annoyed I get.
  2. On the subject of feet, my toe nails are ALWAYS painted. Always. If they aren't they just feel... naked. They're never a normal solid color either. 
  3. I like colors. All things colorful. It could be partly because my Dad and brothers tend to like gray and black and don't really like color much. I like to brighten things up :)
  4. I have a smiley face addiction :) :( :/ :D :))) 
  5. I love the beach! I want a beach house!
  6. I take lots of pictures. I rarely post any on here, but I take lots of them. My camera's just a basic little purple thing.
  7. My most favorite color in the universal universe is purple. I just love it.
  8. I had a Siberian Husky named Manny. (I hate using past tense there *sigh*)
  9. I can't stay serious for long. I'm always smiling. So if I look upset, I most likely am. And laughing, but my little brother says I laugh too loud and my laugh is super creepy so I tend not to laugh around him.
  10. I hate, hate, hate mayonnaise. There aren't many foods I can say I hate. But I strongly hate mayonnaise. Strongly...
  11. I don't talk much. I may talk nonstop on here (well, duh! It's a one sided conversation. It's a blog post man!) but, I don't talk much in person. I usually just listen to other people talk.
  12. I'm addicted to pumpkin spice and apple ANYTHING! It's a habit I'd rather not break :)
  13. I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year. (For those of you who don't know what it is it's a writing challenge for the month of November. You write a 50,000 word book in a month)
  14. I'm a teenager. I'm fourteen. Many teen years left I suppose.
  15. I wish I could drive. I'm not old enough :(
  16. I have two brothers. No sisters. I'm the only girl. First came Nathaniel (a.k.a Nate, Nathan), then I came along, then Jacob.
  17. I'm 5 foot 5.
  18. My second favorite color is yellow. It's a really close second to purple so I figured I should mention it.
  19. I love Fall. Most people seem to love Summer. Summer's great and all, but I'm a Fall girl. 
  20. I want to go to college once I graduate. Three years away.. AHHH!
  21. I have a huge family. I'm pretty sure I have at least fifty cousins (first, second, third. etc.)
  22. I go crazy in stationery stores. Crazy. I'm talking insane here. Even in the stationery section of stores. Gel pens, pens, pencils, Sharpies, notebooks, the works.
  23. My top two favorite meals ever are chicken parmesan and BBQ bacon cheeseburgers. 
  24. I love chocolate. Love chocolate. LOOOOOVE chocolate.
  25. Coke vs. Pepsi?? Coke. Definitely Coke.
  26. I have loved orange soda since I was really little. It's probably my favorite.
  27. I take way too many pictures of the sky. Way too many.
  28. I like to write notes. I write the most random notes and put them all different places. Like, just this morning, I wrote, "Don't worry. Be happy! So smile!! please :)" on a post it and stuck it to the fridge. Yeah, weird, I'm aware.
  29. I am a Directioner. Yes, I've admitted it. I am. I truly am. 
  30. I like to sing. A lot actually. I sing so loudly in the shower I get scared that the neighbors can hear me. 
  31. I took ballet for maybe three months. Also Jazz and Tap. Then Summer got over and it was school time again.
  32. If I were to get married and have kids, I want a big family. I've always wanted a bunch of kids.
  33. I'm scared that I'll have to wear glasses soon. Pretty much everyone in my house wears glasses except me and my brother and I don't want them. I hate how I look in glasses. Oh well. Who knows right?
  34. I always wanted braces when I was younger. I have no idea why. I used to stick things in front of my teeth to pretend I had them.
  35. One of my current favorite songs is, Waiting for Superman by Daughtry. I love it.
  36. I kind of want to be a writer. Okay, a little more than kind of. I've had other ideas, but I think that's what I wanna do.
  37. I can't wait til I can get a job. I wanna be able to have some spending money on hand.
  38. I like washing dishes. I don't know why, I just like them. It's kind of odd actually.
  39. I don't really take many selfies. A lot of girls are always taking selfies. Honestly, I'd rather take pictures than have pictures taken of me.
  40. I have a horrible sweet tooth. If it has sugar, I'll eat it. 
  41. I'm pigeon toed. One of my feet sticks out a little bit so I walk and run a little crooked. 
  42. I'm not real sporty. I'm kind of uncoordinated actually :/
  43. I love birds. They're just so cute.
  44. I don't have a preference between cats and dogs. I like both.
  45. I love science. Which is probably why I got an A+ in Biology. (Not to brag ;)
  46. One of my eyes is darker than the other. Not much, but a little.
  47. I daydream. A lot. Like, I get distracted because of it.
  48. I'm pretty good at multitasking. I can kind of multitask at multitasking. (If that makes any sense at all)
  49. I love baking and cooking. It's so much fun!
  50. And finally, I went through a phase where I wanted to be a fairy princess when I grew up and marry a prince.
And there you have it. 50 Kelsey Facts :)

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Sitting here...

     The last notes of 'How Great is Our God' (the Chris Tomlin version) played in my ears as I was sitting staring out the window the other day. I was just thinking. Thinking about life. Everything that's happened in the past four years. I guess I should mention after four years of living in Indiana, I've moved back to Massachusetts. Yup, I'm here. Things have changed a lot, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I've changed a lot. A lot of bad things have happened this past year,  but I feel like they're meant to help us. In some weird way I feel like, we're gonna come out of this stronger. 

  I was also thinking about how much I love writing. On this blog, in random notebooks, in my journal. I don't know why. I guess it's just refreshing and fun. I feel like it's my way of saying things. I'm super shy in person and I think writing down what I'm thinking or feeling helps me to get out the things I need to say. 

  I'm the type of person who thinks about a thousand different things all at the same time. So, I was thinking even more. About life in general. I think my life is so bad and such bad things have happened to me, but really, I'm doing great compared to others. There are people starving in this world. There are people dying in this world. There are people with no clothes, no homes. I have all of that. I'm not dying. I'm okay. 

  It's interesting to me the difference in the way people react to different situations. Like, the same thing could happen to two different people and, most likely, they'd react totally differently. I admit, I've been tending to look at the negative side of things lately. Because it feels like every time we're finished jumping one large hurdle, another's ahead of us. Maybe that's it. Maybe life's a race. Maybe God's just putting more hurdles in front of us to make us that much stronger. So why am I focusing so much on the negative stuff? Why do we all focus on negative stuff when something bad happens? 

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Life is Wonderful

     I try to stay positive as much as I possibly can. It gets difficult, believe me it does, but it's also a better alternative than negativity. I feel like negativity can just make our problems worse. If I look at the bright side of things, no matter how tiny or stupid they seem, it can really make me feel better. 

     Being positive is really important to me. Because it helps me through the rough times. I'm going through a sort of rough time right now. Yesterday, I went for a walk with my Mom and I was just looking around at the trees, the leaves that are changing, the way the light shines down through the trees, the wildflowers that grow in the most random places. It made me feel better to know that, no matter what's going on, the world doesn't stop being beautiful. No matter how much I'm stressed out or hurting or upset, life still stays wonderful. Life is wonderful. I feel like I forget that too often. No problems are permanent. And problems or curve-balls are only thrown our way when we need to learn something. They make us stronger. And it makes it easier to not take things for granted.

    Like right now, I'm sitting on the couch, typing away on a laptop and outside, it's a BEAUTIFUL day. Nice and cool and breezy. The leaves are rustling in the wind as fall is quickly approaching. Yes, my toes are cold, but it's refreshing. Cool air. 

   Life is Wonderful. Yes, there are downsides but, the problems will pass. Right now, though, you have to hold on to any bit of positivity you can. Because God's got big plans for you, and He'll fix your problems in His own time. You just have to be patient, stick by him, and focus on the beautiful things in life. 

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Dear Boys

    So, I've been bad about posting on here lately, no shocker there, but I'm back and will try to post as much as possible. 

   Everyone seems to like the Dear Boys post I did awhile back, so here's another.

                            Dear Every Celebrity I've Ever Had a Major Crush On,
                            I offer my deepest, sincerest apology for the fangirling.
                            It's a bad habit of mine. 

                             Dear Dude,
                             I know someone who really likes you. I'd appreciate it
                             if you paid some attention to her. But, don't hurt her. 
                             I might have to break your arm if you do so.
                             Her Bestie

                              Dear Lemony Snicket,
                             I'm like 99.8% sure, you're a complete genius.
                             A fan of your work.

                             Dear Brothers of Mine,
                              Your Big and Little Sister

                             Dear Crazy,
                             I'm beginning to understand you a bit better.



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Dear Boys

So my bestie has told me she misses when I'd link up with Elise's blog and do a Dear Boys post. Which reminded me that I miss doing them too, so I shall. Even though Elise hasn't in awhile I still will. 


    Dear Dude,
First off, she's given you subtle hints bro! Pay attention to her!!! Secondly, I'm sorry you didn't get a better nickname than dude. The others could've potentially disclosed your identity and that would be terrible!
You don't know me but, hey I'm Kelsey :)

   Dear MH, 
I've never really liked you. Lots of people have thought I am madly in love with you or something, but honestly, you kinda scare me. Oh, and I'd appreciate less swearing. 

Dear Loudmouth, 
You really bother me. I don't know what it is about you, but you bother me.
That GIRL!

Dear Elmo,
I'm pretty sure you're not who I thought you were.

Dear really attractive guys from the grocery store,
HEYYY! I would've waved and smiled like some cutesy wonderful girl, but I'm shy.
Red Shirt Girl.

And that's it my friends. Enjoy.

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Too this, too that

    Too. Too this, too that. I've been told I'm "too" lots of things. Too nice. Too annoying. To quiet. Too unsocial. Too lazy. Too stubborn. Just too. 

    I live in a sort of neighborhood of houses. It's a little community across the street from an elementary school where many people live. There are probably at least, 50 houses in here. Probably more, but that's just a ballpark estimate. There's a playground, there's a half basketball court, there's an office, five fishing ponds, mailboxes, the works. Everything a typical "normal" neighborhood has. 

    Since moving here, lots of people have come and gone in my life. There were friends who continued on with their lives and forgot about me. No matter how many times I tried to reach out to them. I've had one or two close friends, but not many. I've never been good at making friends and it doesn't usually come easily to me. So, the ones I do get, I am grateful for. 

    Up until last year, I was happy living here. Happy going outside and to the park and just being with friends or big groups of kids and we'd just have fun. Then, I started realizing some things. I went to Florida last year with my grandparents for a month and realized quite a bit about myself. I realized, some of the people here have influenced my behavior and who I am. And not in good ways. I realized some toos about myself. I was too judgmental, too mean. Too horrible to the kids who weren't as "cool" as the ones I tried to fit in with. It hurt to realize it, but it's true. After realizing these things, I knew I needed to change. I needed to be better. When I came back everything changed dramatically. When I acted in this new, kinder way, not so many people liked me as much anymore. That's when the toos started. 

    "Kelsey, you're too nice!" That's the one I've heard the most. Too nice. The first time I heard it I was playing baseball in a field with a bunch of people. A little girl I know, about 8 or 9, came up and was playing with some rubber ball she had brought from her house. She was sitting quietly playing with it. I wasn't bothered by her so I didn't see why anyone else was. But some of the people I was with started saying she was getting in the way and that she needed to move elsewhere. She wasn't doing any harm. I didn't see the problem. She said she didn't want to and one of them stole her ball and threw it into the part of the field overgrown with hay. As she began to cry, I got angry. Angry at these people who were my friends. Suddenly, I didn't like them as much. I didn't like the way they treated her. What they said to her. I thought about all that I had ever seen people do to her and got angrier. I started hurting for this little girl who just wanted to fit in but didn't because, she's not thin like the other little girls and because, someone said she wasn't cool suddenly made her less cool. So, me being my new be nice self, I went into that field and searched for that ball. After about five minutes I found it. I walked back over and returned it to her with a smile. 

    "Really Kelsey?! You're too nice! Why would you do that?" Oh, I don't know maybe because she's a sweet little girl who doesn't deserve to be made fun of or have her feelings hurt because YOU don't like her. 

    I've been accused of things like that so many times. Told I'm too nice. The thing I realized though is, first off, it's not a bad accusation. I'd honestly rather be accused of being too nice than too mean. And secondly, I realized, the accusation is completely and totally true. I'm too nice. To them anyway. To the people who put down others and hurt others feelings I'm almost saintly. But to me, I'm just doing what I'd want someone to do for me if I'd been being treated like that. Why does she deserve that? Why does this sweet kid deserve to be made fun of or have her stuff taken from her? 

    I'm always nice. Well, not always. I have my off days. But I try to be. I try to be kind because it's what God calls us to do and it's just in my nature I guess. It's how I feel. I've been hurt like that. I was made fun of when I was younger. Even  now I am to a certain degree. 

    I want to know why it's in people's nature to be nasty to certain people and nice to others. Why do people find it pleasurable to hurt others? Does it really make them feel that much better about themselves? Really? Truly? 

    I can be told I'm too nice, too annoying, too ugly, too anything, and maybe it'll hurt, but I'll be fine. Because I know that no matter what anyone says to me at least I'm nice to others. At least I try not to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not trying to boost myself up here or anything, I'm just saying, maybe if we were all a little nicer to each other, maybe if we were all a little "too nice," the world would be way, way better off.

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My love/hate relationship with fortune cookies

     Since I was very little, I've loved fortune cookies. Every time we went into any restaurant I knew had them, I'd get so excited. What little message would I get this time? What special piece of wisdom would be sitting in there? It was exciting. Thrilling almost, but as I've gotten older things have changed. I realize that not all of them are true. Sure, they're deep and interesting and can sometimes put a smile on your face, but honestly, some of them have had messages I've totally disagreed with. 

    For example, last week my grandparents were here visiting. On Friday afternoon we went to a new place nearby us, it's a Chinese/Japanese buffet. The food was great. Once the waitress came with the bill and our fortune cookies, I immediately snatched one up, just waiting for that little nugget of wisdom. Then, I read it. It said, "If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted." Um, excuse me? Can you repeat that please?

    I showed the little slip of "wisdom" to my Grampie and he said, "No, no! Jesus says He will give us whatever we want if we ask for it in His name." 

    Then I showed it to Grammie. To which she replied, "The Lord says that whatever you want will be given to you no matter how extravagant. Nothing's too big for Him." Those are my grandparents. Always full of wisdom. 

   I was a little confused by what the fortune cookie said. So if I want say, a candy bar, I can have it because it's not extravagant but, if I want miracles, that's too much to ask? Uh wrong!

   Since Grammie and Grampie didn't want theirs, I opened theirs. One said, "You can either follow your fears or be led by your passions." That one wasn't bad. It's about overcoming fear right? No harm done. The other said, "True worth is in being, not seeming." Which, I guess isn't too bad either. But the first one, the original one I opened, made me think. I always overthink things anyway but, it made me really think. 

   I had a fortune once that said, "To get respect from others, you must first give respect to others." Which is true. That one, I've kept for a long, long time. It's sitting in a drawer in my room somewhere as a reminder not to expect respect without giving it.

   When I was little, fortune cookies were magical and fun and exciting and I loved them. But now, now that I know what they could really mean and not just something that makes me smile a bit, it's different. I like fortune cookies, but at the same time, they sometimes contradict what Jesus says. So, I'll continue to open them. Continue reading my "fortunes." I guess, I can't decide what EXACTLY I think about them. I just know that when I come across ones like that one Friday afternoon, it's going in the garbage. 

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Deep, irrelevant. Or maybe relevant?

   I'd really like to apologize to anyone who is annoyed by my posts. They're usually all deep and full of my personal thoughts and opinions that you may not want to read. I wish I could be that blogger who's up to date on the latest fashion trends, and cute hair styles and posts her professional photos and is loved by everyone but, I'm not that kind of blogger. My photos are average, my posts aren't bubbly and funny and make you smile. They're my thoughts. It's like a journal of me. It's like all my thoughts and emotions jumbled up into one big mess of paragraphs that I hope make an impression. I'm not bubbly, I'm not one of those outgoing girls who can talk to everyone and is always up to date on everything. I'm really shy actually. If you met me in person, you'd probably be shocked at how quiet and shy and nervous I am. I'd probably mumble hi to you and let you talk. I've always been a better listener than a talker when it comes to conversations. 

  I always hope that my posts are relevant to things other teen girls are going through. I don't have a whole lot of life experiences to compare my posts too, but I do know a thing or two. I know that 99.9% of the things I post about are things I'm feeling or going through. I know that most of the reason I post on here is to vent. Vent about things I'm going through. It may be foggy exactly what I'm going through but, I appreciate those of you who read and get something out of my venting. 

  I only have the best intentions when it comes to my posting. I'm here to glorify God, shine His light, and tell you a bit about me in the process. My blog has never had much about my family just because, it always felt weird posting about them. Maybe it's because I feel like the internet world is a totally separate world from the real world. Maybe it's because I don't want to say anything that'll embarrass them or hurt them or even just say things about them without their permission. 

  Maybe my posts are irrelevant to you and that's okay. I'm not here to please everyone. I'm not here to be relevant. I'm here for me. I'm here to express my shy self in a way that I've never been able to before. Conversations don't come easy to me. Neither do friends. So this is kind of my way of voicing my feelings and frustrations. If you don't like my blog that's fine, you don't have to read it. Simple as that. 

  I hope at least some people get something out of what I say. I hope you can say, "Hey, she understands me" or "Hey, maybe I'm not the only one." I don't know for sure. I'm just being me and hoping someone gets something out of what I have to say.


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Why Dreamer?

   I have a specific reason for the name of this blog. I've had many names for my different blogs. There was Butterfly Dreams, there was Forever Love, plenty of different names. None of them seemed to fit perfectly. They were all either too needy sounding, too overused, too similar to other blogger's names, I needed something for me. I'm sure there's another blog somewhere called Dreamer, let's face it, it's a wonderful name, but the reasons I have are sort of personal I guess. 

  All my life I've been a dreamer. From the very beginning. I remember when I was little I used to just be standing somewhere staring off in the distance daydreaming about something. I used to daydream to the point where people would have to repeatedly call my name before I'd actually realize they were talking to me. It's a habit. I've always had big dreams. I have little ones too the big ones are just more prominent. They stand out more than the others. 

  I think everyone has a dream. Everyone always wants to be something or have something. Dreams are universal. I think the difference is, there are the go-getter dreamers and then there are the dreamers who don't chase after theirs. Some people are willing to do anything for their dream while others just leave them dreams. 

  I've always been private about the specifics of the dreams I have. I have them, I'm just not very vocal about what they are. I keep them private. Like wishes. Almost like, if I say them, they won't come true. 

  I don't know if I'll chase after any of my dreams. That's dependent on if they're God's plan for me. And if I can get over my shyness to pursue something extraordinary and wonderful. 

  I've heard people who dream as much as I do accused of "having their head in the clouds" and "needing to come back down to reality." I don't agree with either of those statements. I think everyone needs to dream. It can help you through the worst of times. It also helps your imagination. Your imagination is powerful and wonderful and can do amazing things if you use it. It's a fantastic God-given tool that has made some amazing things. Imaginations can create beautiful works of art, captivating works of writing, and the most beautiful music your ears will ever hear. An imagination created the computer you're sitting at right now to read this. If you use your imagination and have big dreams you can create the most amazing things. Make a change in the world. 

So dream big, because as I've said before, life's too short. So dream your biggest dreams and chase after them. 

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Life's too short

    The phrase '"life's too short" is used a lot, but it's because it's true. Life is too short. Not too short in the aspect that it needs to be longer, too short that, the time you have is way too precious to waste. 

    Life's too short to worry. About anything. You shouldn't worry about the little things. Don't sweat it. Life is gonna work out just as God intended and you will be okay. No matter what happens to you he's always there for you. Worrying is just a waste of your precious time. There are many more valuable things to do with your time than worry.

   Life's too short to be hateful or judgmental. I think one of the biggest problems with tolerance these days is that, the definition of tolerance has changed. It's gone from, tolerating to, I'll like you if you agree with me, but I won't like you and I'll judge you if you don't. I'm not saying everyone does this, it's just what I've witnessed with certain individuals. Being hateful isn't right. Neither is judging people based on your beliefs or what you think you know about somebody. You never know what lies beneath the surface. You have to really know a person before you can judge them for yourself.

   Life's too short to worry what other people think about you. Even though we all know we shouldn't be judgmental and we try our hardest, there are still those people out there who are going to try and tear you down. Don't let them get you down. Your self image shouldn't come from what others think of you, it should come from what you and God think about you. You're wonderful. You're amazing. God's proud of you. He loves you.

  Life is way, way, WAY too short to be totally engrossed in work or school. You need a break sometimes. Do something for you! Don't get so consumed with work, or school, or anything else, that you don't have time for you. Do something fun! Hang out with friends! Anything! Everyone needs some rest and relaxation sometimes. So go for it! Have fun! It's summer, everything changes :) (There's your totally stupid High School Musical quote for today). That doesn't just go for doing something for yourself, do something for your family. Do something with your family. Whether it's just to make a simple phone call to a loved one far away, or to spend the day just being with your family. 

I don't know how many people actually read my blog, but life's too short to not post due to the fact that I feel like nobody cares what's going on on my little blog here. But you know, I don't care anymore. I like blogging. I care about my readers/followers and it brings a smile to my face each time I see the views on here inching upward. It's nice. I love all of you and you're wonderful and amazing. I shall continue to post whether I have 0 readers or 1,000,000 readers. 


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My heart aches for you.

I hate seeing people hurt by what others say. Does nobody comprehend, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?" Or do they just not care. 

I know I've said plenty of times not to let what others think of you affect what you think of yourself, and it's true, it's just hard not to. In our human minds we need acceptance. We need to be liked. We need to know what people think, and it hurts to know when people don't like us or don't agree with us. Now, I can understand judgment when it's constructive criticism meant to help you, but when it turns into nasty hateful things that hurt people it's just unacceptable to me. I'm sorry if you have nothing better to do with your time than to belittle me and hurt MY feelings than you really need God. You need to know what he thinks about your hurting others.

A long time ago when I was really little I saw a lot of other kids my age being made fun of or getting their feelings hurt and I always made a point not to say anything hurtful to anyone. Because I know how much things can hurt and I'd hate to think anyone was hurt because of something I said or simply because I was in a bad mood and snapped at someone.

I love all people. I'm nice to all people because, I don't let hurtful things slip out of my mouth because I know how much it can hurt. I choose to be nice to everyone. If everyone made that decision, this world would be way better off and people would get their feelings hurt a lot less. 

My heart aches for everyone who's constantly hurting because of hateful comments. The hateful comments usually being spewed by the people who need God or just need to follow the "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" rule. For those of you who are hurting because of hateful comments, everything will be okay. Don't let it get you down. God loves you and someone on this earth loves you too and I'm praying for you to feel better. And for those of you hurting others, I'll be praying for you too. 


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Through someone else's eyes

                 I've always wondered what it'd be like to see the world from someone else's perspective. What do they see? Do they see things differently than I do? Do they feel different when they look at something? It'd be interesting to see what other people see. I think it'd give you a totally different outlook on life. Maybe if you looked at something through the eyes of a baby things would seem so much different. Or if you looked through the eyes of an older person who has been on this earth more than double your entire life. 

               Maybe you'd see people differently. Like the people you know would be different from a totally different perspective. I think in life, people see things totally different. To you, a painting of an ocean may just be a painting of an ocean, but to someone else it might bring back memories of vacations as a child. Or to you, a piece of clothing may be ugly and not your taste, but someone else may love it. 

             It'd be even more interesting to be blind for a day. Just to see what it's like for people who can't see anything. The people who rely on their other senses to describe the world. We associate the smell of cookies in the oven with a round, yummy looking object,  but to a blind person it'd just be something that smells, or tastes good. 

            It's all about perspective and how you look at things. How you look at life. Everybody is different. Two people may look at one thing and see two totally different things. On one hand somebody could see something wonderful, while on the other hand someone could see something painful or sad. 

          Maybe two different people could look at me and see two totally different things. Somebody could see just another girl, while someone else may be able to see me. The real me. I know I've seen people differently than say, my brothers. To them the pond in our backyard is just a place to cast out their fishing poles and hope for the best. To me, it's a sparkly, iridescent pond that I take too many pictures of. 

       That's why a lot of misunderstandings happen in my opinion. It depends on your perspective. Sometimes things can be perfectly innocent but the way you see it may not be so innocent. Perspective is important and when you're in a bad situation or a fight with someone you have to look at it from their point of view.


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